Do Women Use Men? The Honest Truth

Let’s be direct: Yes, women use men. But before we get angry about it, we have to look at the bigger picture. The truth is that people use people. Men use women, women use men, and friends use each other. It’s a part of human nature.

The most important rule to remember is this: People will use you if you let them. If you don’t have self-respect or clear boundaries, people will naturally take what you are willing to give. To navigate this, you need to understand why it happens and how to stand up for yourself.

Why It Happens: The Need for Security

There are many reasons why a woman might use a man. Sometimes it’s for money, sometimes it’s for emotional support, and sometimes it’s for help with daily life.

However, one of the biggest reasons is something men often overlook: Safety.

In our society, men and women have very different experiences. For a woman, walking through a dark parking lot or sitting alone in a bar can feel dangerous. Because of this, women often seek the “value” of protection.

The “Security Guard” Friend

I once had a client who had several female friends. They always invited him out to bars or walks in the park. He started to catch feelings for them and felt “used” because they didn’t want to date him.

Here’s what was actually happening-

• They felt safe when he was around.
• Having him there stopped other “creepy” guys from bothering them.
• He provided a sense of security that they lacked when they were alone.

They weren’t “evil” people. They liked his company and they liked feeling safe. But because he wanted a romantic connection and they only wanted a “bodyguard” or a “listener,” he felt cheated.

How to Stop Being Used

If you feel like you are being used, you don’t need to start a fight or cause drama. You just need to value your own time.

1. Own Your Path

If a woman asks you to do something that you don’t want to do—or if you’re only doing it because you hope she’ll date you—just say no. You don’t have to be mean. A simple, “I can’t make it, I’m busy,” is enough.

2. Seek Mutual Value

A good friendship or relationship is a two-way street. I have many female friends, and we “use” each other in a good way. I enjoy their company, and they enjoy mine. There is a balance. If the balance is off, and you are giving 100% while they are giving 0%, it’s time to step back.

3. Build Confidence

When you stop being “available” for every little favor, people actually respect you more. When you follow your own goals and stand up for what you want, you become more attractive and more masculine.

Final Thoughts

We like to think everyone is exactly the same, but the male and female experiences are different. You will be “used” for certain things because you are a man—whether it’s for your strength, your protection, or your resources.

Don’t get bitter about it. Just be aware of it. If you are aware of the “value” you provide, you can choose who deserves to receive it.

Stand up for yourself, go for what you actually want, and you’ll find much more happiness in your relationships.